Glo Knows... Slogans
A new year is upon us, so what are we supposed to call it?
This year started with an unusual (perhaps senseless) debate, centered around what to call this year. Should we call it “two-thousand-ten” or “twenty-ten”? My first response was “Who cares?” I was just glad to leave ’09 behind. But then I began to realize there were those who were very serious about the etiquette of how they wanted this year to roll off their tongues.
While it is true we are always looking for faster ways to get things done, it is equally true that we like crafty to accompany quick. Think about it: the artist formerly known as Prince, who was then an unpronounceable symbol and is now Prince again, wanted us to “… party like it’s nineteen-ninety-nine.” He didn’t say “one-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine.” It just doesn’t roll right. Besides, your tongue might get tired singing the chorus or you might slip a disk if you’re on the dance floor.
Think about it from a historical perspective. There have been other important dates in history that would have proven difficult to remember had it not been for a slogan. How about “in fourteen-hundred-ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue”? That slogan helped me pass many tests during my formative years. Some might even argue this was an early form of rap. LOL! The slogan just would not have had the same ring if it were “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in one-thousand-four-hundred-ninety-two.”
Most people, me included, are not going to take the time to say “two-thousand-ten.” It’s just too proper and unnecessary, and the cadence feels awkward. It’s like picking up a dinner fork when the salad fork will do just fine. The fact that I’m not eating a salad is lost on the chicken breast on the plate; it really doesn’t care, and neither do I. The “wrong” fork works just as well as the “right” one. The same is true for the year 2010. Saying “two-thousand-ten” is pretentious. It works, but it makes me want to flip up my pinky.
Here’s another little factoid to consider: Because 20 comes after 19, it makes more sense to say “twenty-ten.” After all, we didn’t refer to 1999 as one-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine, so why would we refer to 2010 as two-thousand-ten? The National Association of Good Grammar, a grammatical think tank (really just a guy named Tom Torriglia and some friends who obviously have way too much time on their hands) agrees. They say “twenty-ten” is more logical because 20 follows 19, not 2,000.
For those of you who are still refusing to say “twenty-ten,” stop acting out and get with the program! This might not be important to you, but it is important to your tongue. Your refusal reminds me of my wonder years. (Sidebar: Remember that show The Wonder Years? I loved that show. Watching that show as an adult makes me think of something my mother would always tell me: “You’re gonna miss being a child when you get grown.” She was so right. That show made me tap into a time when my parents told me to do something, and my only response was “But why?” To which my mother gave the standard parental answer, “Because I told you so; that’s why!”)
So don’t ask me why. Just do it. Damn, I sound like Nike! (Sidebar: Tiger Woods gave “Just do it” new meaning didn’t he? Honey Hush!) So for those still rebelling, saying, “Glo, you can’t be serious.” I say, “Don’t make me beat you with a wet noodle!”
Remember this: If the slogan for last year was “Leave it behind in 2009,” then I agree with those who say the new slogan for this year is “Don’t do it again in 2010.” But I’m sure I’ll hear that slogan
so much this year that by next year I’ll be saying “Oh, thank heaven for 2011 ...
can I get a Seagram’s Seven and Seven?”
Denver Magazine
Issue: March 2010