Glo Knows... Men
Some insight from the fairer sex on the, say, less complex sex — and a little bit of, well, sex.
Now, before you go gettin’ all riled up, I’m not talking about in the biblical sense. That’s called prostitution, which I know nothing of. While it is true that I have had a “practice” husband, it is equally true that I haven’t always had a husband. I don’t, however, believe you have to sleep with a bevy of men to understand men. Some of my single girlfriends have asked, “Where’s the fun in that, Glo?” To which I reply, “If you’re buying your pregnancy tests in bulk, you might want to rethink your relationship plans.”
It is with that statement that I would like to shift your focus from between the sheets to between the lines. Some women think men are complicated, but I beg to differ. If you listen to what your man is saying (and sometimes not saying), it’s really not that hard to communicate with them. Now ladies, I’m not saying you are stupid or clueless. And gentlemen, I’m not saying you’re simple or easy. But one thing I know for sure is if a man wants you, he’ll let you know he wants you. There’s no guessing involved! You won’t have to wonder if he thinks your butt is too big because if it is he will tell you he likes big butts! Sidebar: Don’t knock a big butt till you try it, fellas — they’re especially nice in the Winter.
As for my married mujeres (if you don’t know what that means, you need your Latino girlfriends to school you or you need to talk to someone who speaks Spanish), remember this: The same thing it took to get that man, ladies, is the same thing it will take to keep that man. (And the same is true for men when it comes to keeping a woman, but that’s my next column.) Simply put, don’t switch to autopilot once you get married because your relationship will crash, honey! Any relationship, whether it involves casual cohabitation or a justice-of-the-peace, requires action. Even though the word “marriage” is a noun according to Webster’s dictionary, it’s really a verb. It requires action and a lot of it. I know. I work to keep up my end of the bargain every day. One practice husband is enough for me.
Sometimes, I get a little ticked off, though, when women come up to me and say things like, “Oh, your husband loves you so much” or “You are so lucky; you all seem to have so much fun together” and other dumb sh** (rhymes with “fit”) like that. First of all, isn’t your husband supposed to love you? Hello, he’s your husband! Second, luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. Just about everything you do in a successful relationship is deliberate, and even then, there are no guarantees the union will last. When I say being deliberate, I mean you should always have your mate’s feelings in mind. That doesn’t mean you become a mind-reading servant. You are still your own woman, but you should care how your actions are going to be perceived.
Marriage to me is just like a 401K. It’s an investment, and de-pending on your risk tolerance, you might want to be more conservative with your “money.” However, if your portfolio can handle the risk, then go ahead and loan your man out to your girlfriend and see what kind of return you get. Honey Hush!
Denver Magazine
Issue: September 2009